Emotional Intelligence
-identifying/labeling feelings
-expressing feelings
-assessing intensity of feelings
-managing feelings
-delaying gratification
-controlling impulse
-reducing stress
-differentiating between actions and feelings
Cognitive Skills
-self-talk/inner dialogue (reinforce one's own behavior)
-reading/interpreting social cues
-steps for problem solving/decision making (control impulse, set goals, identify actions, anticipate consequence)
-understand others' perspectives
-positive attitude
-self-awareness
Behavioral Skills
-non-verbal (eye contact, facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures, etc.)
-verbal (clear requests, respond effectively to criticism, resisting negative influences, listening to/helping others)
Self-Awareness: observing yourself and recognizing feelings, knowing relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions/reactions
Personal
Decision-Making: examine your actions/know their consequences. know if
thought or feeling is ruling decision (ex., apply to sex, drugs and
self-destructive acts)
Managing Feelings: monitor "self-talk" to catch negative messages. realize what is behind a feeling. learn to handle fears/anxieties and anger/sadness
Handling Stress: learn value of exercise, guided imagery and relaxation methods
Empathy: understand others' feelings/concerns and take their perspectives. appreciate differences in how people feel about things
Communication:
talk about feelings effectively. be a good listener and question asker.
distinguish between what someone does or says and your reaction to it.
send " I " messages
instead of blame
Self-Disclosure: valuing openness and building trust in relationships. knowing when it is safe to risk talking about private feelings
Insight: identifying patterns in your emotional life and reactions. seeing similar patterns in others
Self-Acceptance: feeling pride and seeing yourself in positive light. recognizing strengths and weaknesses. being able to laugh at yourself
Personal Responsibility: taking responsibility for things you are responsible for. recognizing consequences of decisions, accepting feelings/moods. follow through on commitments
Assertiveness: stating concerns and feelings without anger or passivity
Group Dynamics: cooperation and knowing when to follow and when to lead
Conflict Resolution: how to fight fair (win/win model for negotiating)
